Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
