I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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