i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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