A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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