Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
