Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
