brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
