did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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