So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
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