actually, I'm a sock model
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
