For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
