it's not cheating when I paid for it
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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