I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
