Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Randomize
