Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
