Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
