Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
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