Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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