Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
