I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize