kristin has been a bad kristin
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
