Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
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Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
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Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
We're too hungover to prance.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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