My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize