I feel great
I just peed on a car
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
