Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
