do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
