I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
This is classic penis vs brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
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