So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
