I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
