you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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