I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize