addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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