your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
