how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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