He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
