Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
