we have pet lesbian snakes
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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