WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
