Texts From Last Night

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  (858): View more from California

  I like my sex mixed with concussions.

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  (858): I like my sex mixed with concussions. http://tfl.nu/qysd
  Replies (6) Good night (1069) Bad night (621)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.

  (260): View more from Indiana

  Good luck with that.

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  (419): I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me. (260): Good luck with that. http://tfl.nu/2zv5
  Replies (31) Good night (1113) Bad night (2912)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.

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  (541): I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album. http://tfl.nu/to1v
  Replies (10) Good night (1299) Bad night (3116)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.

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  (817): I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar. http://tfl.nu/lubl
  Replies (6) Good night (4003) Bad night (1620)
• Favorite

  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.

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  (709): Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you. http://tfl.nu/s4f8
  Replies (13) Good night (1290) Bad night (3530)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words

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  (810): Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words http://tfl.nu/8a38
  Replies (9) Good night (3479) Bad night (1089)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.

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  (778): When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back. http://tfl.nu/pu4u
  Replies (18) Good night (4360) Bad night (2059)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?

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  (941): Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night? http://tfl.nu/uq24
  Replies (18) Good night (5268) Bad night (762)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?

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  (203): We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right? http://tfl.nu/13y7
  Replies (9) Good night (1361) Bad night (573)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Hows that studying goin for you?

  (1-505): View more from New Mexico

  I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil

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  (505): Hows that studying goin for you? (1-505): I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil http://tfl.nu/rkj1
  Replies (5) Good night (1811) Bad night (648)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"

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  (217): His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances" http://tfl.nu/5wgw
  Replies (11) Good night (1446) Bad night (660)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on

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  (585): My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on http://tfl.nu/yfb6
  Replies (5) Good night (1231) Bad night (597)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.

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  (320): Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later. http://tfl.nu/4ix3
  Replies (8) Good night (1295) Bad night (453)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.

  (631): View more from New York

  You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?

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  (904): Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever. (631): You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring? http://tfl.nu/4f34
  Replies (1) Good night (1446) Bad night (192)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.

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  (509): We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend. http://tfl.nu/7hil
  Replies (3) Good night (627) Bad night (168)

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