Texts From Last Night

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  (480): View more from Arizona

  ...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.

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  (480): ...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can. http://tfl.nu/7kew
  Replies (5) Good night (2558) Bad night (614)
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  (518): View more from New York

  WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!

  (315): View more from New York

  ... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...

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  (518): WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?! (315): ... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher... http://tfl.nu/j2jz
  Replies (19) Good night (1508) Bad night (4511)
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  (607): View more from New York

  just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.

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  (607): just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school. http://tfl.nu/1unl
  Replies (20) Good night (4432) Bad night (769)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.

  (1-616): View more from Michigan

  does that include her cleaning your bowl?

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  (616): my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave. (1-616): does that include her cleaning your bowl? http://tfl.nu/8sts
  Replies (10) Good night (5796) Bad night (1153)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out

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  (403): That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out http://tfl.nu/2o0c
  Replies (8) Good night (3901) Bad night (875)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.

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  (484): I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me. http://tfl.nu/20bq
  Replies (7) Good night (2525) Bad night (1223)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.

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  (802): It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside. http://tfl.nu/56u9
  Replies (21) Good night (4158) Bad night (1289)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.

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  (609): My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance. http://tfl.nu/4x77
  Replies (8) Good night (961) Bad night (2578)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.

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  (770): I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray. http://tfl.nu/vqg8
  Replies (10) Good night (997) Bad night (2693)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.

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  (403): He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love. http://tfl.nu/9ope
  Replies (7) Good night (2462) Bad night (759)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.

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  (917): Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people. http://tfl.nu/tw6k
  Replies (3) Good night (1396) Bad night (494)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.

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  (413): He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring. http://tfl.nu/ghx4
  Replies (10) Good night (1548) Bad night (868)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap

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  (703): I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap http://tfl.nu/q0tw
  Replies (1) Good night (373) Bad night (509)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants

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  (248): I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants http://tfl.nu/k0mn
  Replies (6) Good night (1199) Bad night (321)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts

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  (205): I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts http://tfl.nu/716i
  Replies (0) Good night (408) Bad night (251)

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