I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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