So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
we're so committed to being not committed
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
