just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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