At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
