also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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