I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
