Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
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