I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
