i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
