I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
