a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
