It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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