Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
