I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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