So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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