Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I will be naked everywhere
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize
