i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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