i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
