wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
what day is it and did you see me today?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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