Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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