Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
