would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
